This exercise is a perfect one to start with as it will help to re-connect you with your body and your breath.  You can do this just before you go to sleep on your own, or you can do it with your lover and create a special evening, introducing a new texture to your relationship.  Some side-effects of regular practice may include: feeling more alive, achieving relaxation even in a tense ever-moving world, and a re-awakening of sensuality making way for more pleasure in lovemaking as well as in everyday activities.

• Begin lying down, sitting or standing across from your partner (or on your own) with your eyes closed.

• Become aware of the breath moving in and out of your body.  Let your mouth fall open and take both the in and out breath through your mouth.  Feel as though the breath is caressing you from the inside, swirling through your body as it enters you. 

• Feel the breath moving deep into your body to the tips of your fingers, deep into your belly

• Now imagine the breath moving all the way into your genitals, gently massaging them from the inside.  Create a different relationship with them than we might be used to, allowing them to open and relax, rather than responding to stimulation.

• Continue with the breath in this way for 10 to 15 minutes.  This may be challenging for you, that is fine, just like flexing a muscle we have not used in a long time, it simply takes practice.

• If you feel confident that you can truly feel the breath caressing the genitals, then you can move onto the next stage; tightening and releasing the PC muscle.  This is the muscle that you would use if you were urinating and you wanted to stop the flow of urine.  For this part of the practice you will be tightening as you breathe in and releasing when you exhale.  We are simply continuing to build a new relationship with this part of the body.  Maintaining this for 5 minutes is a great start, though you can do it for up to 15 or 20 minutes.

• The final stage for building the energy is to add a rocking of the pelvis.  Breathing in, rocking back and tightening the PC muscle; breathing out, rocking forward and releasing.  Now, all three at once may seem like patting your head and rubbing your tummy at the same time-remember that you don’t have to get it ‘right’.  The most important thing is just that you create a connection to your genitals in a new way, however that happens for you is fine.

• Now, after at least 15 minutes of focusing on your connection to yourself, you can stop, open your eyes and gaze at your partner.  This process is so simple, and can create such intimacy, yet we hardly ever do it.  You can imagine that you are seeing this person for the first time, truly let them in.  You may feel like giggling, you may even feel like crying.  Once again, there are no rules in tantra, whatever comes naturally is fine and all you need do is stay in touch with whatever you are feeling in any given moment.

Important to know
No two Tantra exercises are alike.  This example is very powerful when done fully, and still, it is the tip of the iceberg as far as Tantra goes.  Tantra works with breath (as described above), movement, sound, and guided meditation-anything that will get you to re-connect with the true responses in the body.  Other meditations might include shaking the body, partner yoga positions, making sounds on different parts of your lovers body, or blindfolding your partner and offering them things to delight their senses. Finally, Tantra offers actual lovemaking techniques.  This exercise is perfect for beginning your Tantric journey and it is just as effective when done alone as it is with a partner.